SoKind Blog


The One Question to Ask Yourself When Wedding Planning

Posted by Caitlin Frauton • February 10, 2017

When I first started planning my wedding, I felt like I entered a whole new world.

One that was fun and exciting, but suddenly had me caring about things that I never thought were important before - like the size of tablecloths
and whether they were floor-length or mid-length.

I'd never even noticed there was a difference in all my previous 30 years on this planet. How many thousands of tablecloths had I seen and never noticed their length...

And there were lots of small things and details that seemed to crawl out of the woodwork, and had me wondering if they were worthy of my time and money.

Sometimes planning a wedding felt like standing in a constant crossroads. Was it best to go down Road A or Road B? Or maybe Road C?

Now three years after planning my own wedding and having helped dozens of couples plan their own weddings, I've realized that when you don't know which way to go, ask yourself this:

"How will this [insert detail, decision, choice, etc.] make us feel?"

How will it make you feel on your wedding day? Is it something that will bring you joy, cause you stress, or is it something you’ll likely be too engaged to notice?

How will it make you feel when you’re preparing for your next life goal like buying a home or having a family? Will you be happy about the decisions you made, and the money you’ve spent?

How will it make you feel as you look through your wedding photo album on your one year anniversary? Ten year anniversary? Twenty five or even fifty? Will it light you up to think about it, or will have you completely forgotten about it?

I’ve found that when all the wedding excitement fades, it’s the memories of things and trends that lose their emotional pull and the memories of people and feelings that become more and more meaningful with time.

So when you’re standing at a wedding planning crossroads (maybe trying to decide between tablecloth sizes or even just skipping them entirely), take a step back and remember that there’s really just one thing that truly matters on your wedding day. And that’s love.

Caitlin Frauton is the founder and lead coordinator at DIY Wedding Mentor, a wedding coordination business for couples planning meaningful, fun, and affordable weddings. Their online wedding planning program Feel the Wedding Day Love shows couples who are planning their own weddings how to make a wedding day plan that will work - no chaos, no stress, just love.

Image by Michael Tallman Photography.